A Letter From The Kitties

Dear Dog,

It’s Cheddar (AKA The General).  I am responding to your Letter To The Kitties.  First off, how dare you write a letter to Cannoli.  You know she’s all looks and can’t read!  No wonder she doesn’t like you… 

You are huge.  You have teeth.  You are always liking your lips.  And you breathe heavy.  It’s scary.  And the day you jumped the baby gate to get to us – let’s be honest, you didn’t do yourself any favors becoming our friend that day.   And the day you tried to share my bed with me … no.  I don’t share my bed.  Certainly not with a dog.  Eww!  You roll around in the dirt.  I see you… Nasty.

Before you came along, I never had to share my Mommy and Cannoli never had to share Daddy.  Yep, one happy family.  Every night we watched TV together.  And now, it’s all about Tetley.  Tetley, Tetley, Tetley.  You know, there was a Brady Bunch episode that mirrors our predicament, except it was Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.

And before you, Cannoli and I enjoyed our day.  We sat in our favorite windows.  We lounged on the floor in the sun… it was glorious!

Now to go anywhere, we have to plan.  We have to jump, run, and sneak around you.  Poor Cannoli has not touched the ground in months! 

So, we are patiently waiting for you to just leave.  Until you do, I will be in my room reading Aunt Shelly’s Harry Potter books.  I borrowed her glasses (yeah, I know, I took those too – rub it in why don’t ya – like the blankets I “steal”).  This is a silent protest.  Cats have patience and we will overcome your presence in the house. 

Not at all sincerely,

Cheddar